"dazzle gradually"

"Dazzle Gradually" 2016 poems, paintings, new art & photography--a diary, a discipline, a delight. Read over my shoulder as I post my unedited poetry ---you can see it in the raw.


Polly Alice

Friday, January 14, 2011

Petrol or Why ADD Makes Me Tired

The Gift of Adult ADD: How to Transform Your Challenges & Build on Your Strengths
It's five am I think about poetry--
about God, faith, weather, the solar system
and I'm thankful and amazed.

I get out of bed and pull up the quilt
over my pillow.
I think about how great that two dollar
pillow from Wal-mart holds up--
so soft and the case was half price--and it's soft
and it's my favorite color and so is the quilt
and so are the Amish, and my mother-in-law
quilts, and so did my grandmothers and I have
one I'd like to finish someday.  Is there time
for sewing today?

I get dressed and think about my clothes,
colors, prices, dates of purchase, people
I connect them with.  Sheesh.  I forgot
to check on the kids.

I brush my teeth and think about toothpaste
and how it is made and how it used to be made
and toothpaste over the span of the history of the
world and how people view teeth and smiles
and what that means about us.  And how
the tubes are completely non recyclable.
I imagine the tubes from toothpaste filling
up the crevices of the world until
there is no where left to walk.

I run to get the toddler yelling "Mama."
I put aside my everything to dress him and take
him downstairs and I make of list of things
to take with us so I don't have to come back up:
socks, diapers, blanket, sippie cup, toy, my phone
I carry them to the foot of the stairs where
the toddler insists I carry him too.  First we argue
and he cries.  Then I put them all in one hand and
hold his hand down the five steps.  One,
two, three, four five.  Ahh we made it to morning.

Good morning everyone.  And look there are
dishes to do and things on the floor and I
didn't sweep last night.  And oh, look at
my daughter's hair, its a mess.  Let's see I need to
open all the curtains and turn on the lights so
I can think.  Then I'll clean a pot and cook
breakfast.  No, first I'll get some cereal for the kids.
I forget the milk.  Then I forget the spoons.
Then I forget what I'm doing.  Then I take my
ADD medicine.

Then I become like everyone else, sort of.
I take the kids to school.  I don't forget things
as much.  I think about my work.  The day passes
in seconds.  I did well. 

You see my brain sort of works as though it has
a gas pedal.  When I've been all around the world,
history and the solar system and back-- before I'm done
brushing my teeth, you can see by the time
I get to breakfast I'm all out of gas, and you
are just starting your day. 

A rocket ship isn't meant to travel
to the Shopfresh and back.  It's meant
to travel to the moon.  So I'll take
my gravity pills and sit cross legged
in a grocery cart of my mind on
medication because who has the energy
to be a rocket every day?--And maybe
with both I can at least be an SUV.

1 comment:

  1. polly, this is so good! your description, pre-medication, is like my mind all the time too. Seriously, it's me to a T. I've been working really hard at trying to organize my mind and life to be more efficiet, successful, present, remember-ful, etc.
    I guess I've always thought of my mind being that was is just the mark of creativity. I've always defended my mess as the way it simply works. hmmm... your poem makes me think.

    ReplyDelete

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